Day 5--back in the PICU

Day of Uncertainty

The neurosurgeon came in around 6:30 and said he was glad we had stayed in Lubbock. He said we would definitely stay till Monday. The head of PICU is a pediatric internist. He is really great and is trying hard to get to the bottom of everything.

Cayla woke up around 8:30 or so and the nurse checked her out and said she could have a bottle. So she drank 4 oz and kept it down. Praise God. We decided to wait till a second feeding to turn off the iv. Cayla and Mammy hung out together while Gran and I ran to get laundry soap and some goodies for the baby.

We got back at noon and found out that Cayla took one ounce of bottle and then screamed. That has us worried. We all three went to the cafeteria and when we got back she had taken two ounces of formula and kept it down so the iv got turned off. Then around 2:45 or 3 she took 3 more ounces of formula, but has been spitting up since. Not throw up like last night, but spit up!! I really don't know what they will do for her next. I have been wondering if she could have some baby stuff for stomach ickies. I know lots of baby's take Zantac.

I needed a break, so I came to the room. I will try to nap for 30 minutes and then go back after doing a quick load of laundry. Gran is with her now.

Shan is feeling horrible. She has fibromyalgia and really put her health on the line to be here. She left to come back and nap around 1:15 or so. She leaves in the morning.

Gran is tired and her back is aching from being in the hospital.

The mom is (huhh--big breath out) feeling frazzled to say the least. I just keep clinging to the verse in Joshua (1:9 I think) that says, "have I not commanded you do not be afraid!!" Commanded is a strong word so I refuse to fear, at least outwardly. Inwardly I am scared! I feel guilty because I made the decision to put her through the surgery. But I know she needed it and in the long run I will be glad I did it. I am also so frustrated that I keep having to explain why John is not here so the nurses will give him info. I am mad that he didn't answer this morning when we tried to let him know that we were in PICU. I am furious that he did not put the baby first and that he is not here. Especially after last night. All in all I am an emotional wreck. But (deep breath in and out)I have faith that everything will be fine.

I better end this and try to nap. Then will do laundry in case we don't get to leave tomorrow. Then back to the hosptial to sleep tonight next to the baby, listening to every noise and praying for the best.

Thanks for your prayers. Thank God for his faithfulness in watching over us and helping us through this. Thank God for Shan and Darleen, what would I have done without them?