Exodus 4:11

Cayla's Story continued

After the nurse took Cayla to the nursery, John and I had a few minutes alone. We talked a little, but not too in depth. Then he said he had to go do something (later I found out he had to go to radiation for his testicular cancer). Before he left they told us Cayla had to stay in the special care nursery because her blood sugar was low and her oxygen saturation was not good. So I didn't get to see her again until later on. I transfered to a room and then the kids came up. We had called Amanda at school when Cayla was born and she was so excited. John, Zane, Amanda and I went to the special nursery and saw the baby. One of the pics in "Cayla's greatest hits" is the one Amanda took of Cayla sleeping with her little heart hat on. I tried to nurse, but Cayla just couldn't breathe and eat at the same time. Then John tried to feed her with the same result. We didn't stay long because she was getting worn out. So Amanda went with Melissa and John took Zane to his mom's.

That night the pediatrician called and said, "the baby just can't eat and breathe at the same time so I am putting an iv in." That meant she had to stay in special care. I could go every three hours and hold her and feed her. John called and was very ill (from the radiation) and said he couldn't come back. I told him about the baby and he got even more upset. He sent his parents up to check on us. They got to go into the nursery and hold the baby and see her with the iv in. At least it was in her arm not her head. Still very sad and scary. The next morning my doctor came in and asked how everything was. When I told him about Cayla he automatically let me stay in the hospital. The pediatrician came in and said he was going to order a ct scan of Cayla's head to check for neurological damage. John was there by then and he was able to stay long enough to see Cayla and go with us when she had the scan done. He insisted that I get a wheel chair and he even pushed me down to the ct scan. It was very scary to see her go into the machine. But the whole time she was in special care, she was in an open air isolette. That helped me some. John left and said he would be back later on. John's mom took Zane to get a booster shot and then they came up. It was very hard to be in the hospital room with no baby. I would go to the nursery every chance I got. We never heard from the pediatrician the rest of the day.

That night John came back for the 9 pm feeding and he and I sat in the nursery together and talked about names. We had called her Becca, but I decided that was too confusing. So we had to pick something new. We finally decided on Cayla with a C. My mom was Carolyn and his is Carol. I also have a sister in law Carolyn and he has a sister Carrie and my first former mother in law was Carol too. We wanted to honor my mom especially, since she passed away in 2004.

The next morning, the pediatrician came in and said the ct scan showed areas where the baby's skull had not formed (lytic lesions) but he wanted to do an x-ray to see what it showed. Neurologically she was fine. Cayla would have to stay in the hospital for a while maybe. My doctor came in and said I had to go home. My insurance wouldn't pay for another day. But I could stay until midnight. So I really got upset. John called and I told him what happened and he got upset. He came in from work and we had some time alone. Then the doctor called and said the xray was clear and she could go home. John asked some questions of the pediatrician and that was that. I asked John if we could work things out but he said no and it turned to a huge fight. So he left and then called back and wanted to drive us home but felt he couldn't. He was very upset. I tried to get him to come back but he wouldn't. So Melissa drove us home. Later on John and his family came to see the baby at home. John left for New York with his girlfriend when Cayla was 9 days old. He has not seen her since.

Before her two month check up I had to take her for more xrays. Then on her two month appt. I found out she has cranisynostosis or cranial stenosis. This is a malformation of the skull. Her right coronal suture fused early. The doctor didn't seem concerned and said they only do surgery for cosmetic reasons and she doesn't look bad. I talked to John and we decided to get a second opinion. I saw a doctor in Lubbock and he said she will have surgeryat 6 months old. I go back tomorow to find out more and for Cayla to have a CT Scan and MRI. She will be sedated for those procedures. A lot has happened in her short 16 week life. I will post more about Cranial Stenosis later and will post about her trip to Lubbock when we return.

Cayla's Greatest Hits

Cayla's Story

Cayla's Story

Here is some background on Cayla. Cayla's dad and I had been married for 4 years and had one child together, plus my daughter from my first marriage. We had been trying for a while to conceive a second child, but my endometrios was preventing that. So I had surgery in May and in July (one year ago today) we conceived our second child.

At first everything was great, I was working a new job and so was John. Then he and I had a huge fight and I told him to leave. He did and never came back. I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time. Life lesson: never fight with your mate while hormonal. I ended up having a pretty traumtic pregnancy. I lost 9 lbs in 6 weeks due to throwing up and diarrhea. I finally was put on medicine to help with that, which saved me a hospital trip. Then I developed gestational diabetes and had to go every other week to have blood drawn before and after eating. I managed to control it with diet and excercise. I still lost weight though. I lost just over 20 lbs total during the pregnancy.

While I was pregnant, John and I had horrible fights and just couldn't work things out. Not to mention that he began a new relationship with a co-worker. I had hopes that after the baby was born we could begin anew. That was not to be.

I was scheduled for induction at 39 weeks. Monthly, then bi-weekly sonograms showed the baby to be growing nicely and not too big. At 4:34 am on 4/4 my water broke. I was 38w4d pregnant. I called my dad to come be with my other two kids and then called and left John a voice mail. I got dressed and drove myself to the hospital. On the way I left a note on the windshield of John's pickup which was parked at his girlfriend's house. I was not sure whether he would come or not. My very good friend Melissa got her phone call at around 6:30 as did John's mom. Melissa got to the hospital at a little before 8 and was a great help. I didn't have bad contractions until they started pitocin to get things going. Then I was in a lot of pain. I went from a 2 to a 7 in just about an hour. In the meantime, John was calling his mom who was calling us to check progress. He finally decided to come. I didn't think he would make it. I also didn't think I was going to get an epidural as the hospital was busy that day. I finally got the epidural and felt instantly better. Earlier iv drugs had only made me loopy.

When John arrived he was the perfect birth coach. He gave me ice and helped put balm on my lips. He was great. When it came time to push, Melissa stepped out and it was just me and John and the medical people. I pushed for 15 minutes or less and Cayla arrived. Her arrival was not easy. She had shoulder dystocia and was stuck for a few minutes with her head out but her body in. Her umbilical cord was wrapped around her chest. A nurse finally came and pushed from above to help get her out. At 11:46 a.m. she was born. Then the real drama began.

At first Cayla's oxygen level was very low. John had to hold oxygen on her while the nurse worked on her. They only let me hold her momentarily and then took her away.

to be continued

Exodus 4:11

Why Exodus 4:11? Because with Cayla's problems I felt like this was an awesome scripture showing God's power.

Exodus 4:10-11 (new international version)

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." 11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ?

This just said to me--hey God created everyone, even those with problems. We are all his creation. It was a wonderful realization for me, in a moment of feeling bad for having brought this child into the world.